Thanksgiving came and now it's been declared over for the year 2012. I thought to myself how I was bored and needed something to do so I turned to my blog once more. It has been three months since my back surgery and I'm somehow still struggling with finding that motivation to doing my regular routine that I had done before. I had not realized how hard it would be and I find myself just wanting to do the least possible around the house. I would get ready for the day, take care of the boys, and then I would just want to get on facebook or read something of interest. I figure well maybe it is just a phase that I'm going through and hoping it would end soon and I will be back to "normal." But then I think what is normal? I suppose we all have our phases of just wanting to be. I remembered Adam when he had his back surgery the only thing that kept him going was laying on the couch watching lots of tv. Eventually that went away and he got back into the land of the living. Adam always tells me to give it time and I guess I just need to learn to get back that motivation, that stability and strength by just having patience and staying active. I don't think I've ever experienced anything this challenging until now except I think back on my mission when I was sent home on medical release. However it was not the same because back then it was just me i was thinking of having to struggle and be alone in the pain. Now I have my family and pain in one package but the things I am going through now I would rather go through than alone. I mean sure I did have my parents but somehow it is more magnified having also my husband and children to be with me as well. I would not have been able to pull through this whole ordeal without my parents, my siblings, my husband, my children, Adam's family or my friends. Pain is and always will be our life and we have learned to work with it no matter how frustrating it can affect us, no matter how much it hurts us, we will always survive.
For this Thanksgiving I was thinking all day one thing among other blessings is that my husband and I are still alive and breathing with our beautiful children and able to watch them grow into the amazing spirits that they are and will be. I am eternally grateful from the bottom of my heart that our children are healthy. I would much rather carry the burden of pain on me than to see them hurting or have chronic pain for the rest of their precious lives. Of course I wish my Adam would not have to carry the burden of pain either but the love of parents to their children is the strongest love you can ever experience so I would think Adam would agree with this sentiment just the same.
I really enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my parents, sister's family, and my own family today. The whole getting together around the table expressing prayer of thanks, the game of who said this as we draw papers out of the bag of things we're grateful for. Watching our children dancing and having fun. The feeling of just relaxing with family and having pie is what this holiday brings us, the sentiment that we are in fact thankful and not just there for the food. I hope everyone around the world had Thanksgiving with someone they loved, hope that all of Adam's family, and friends also had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It was a blessed day. I may come across as cheesy but I think this day gives me the right to be. Happy Turkey day everyone!
Good night,
Lisa
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